By A. Hosack & P. Berman & K. Hecht

Will I be bullied again? Can I make any friends at school?

Claire had tossed and turned all night, with terrifying dreams about school. She didn’t like to think about all the ways she had been bullied before Larry rescued her. There was no Larry to protect her now. The Carsons had said encouraging things about school. They said she could make some friends who might also have children who could become friends with Davy. Claire wanted to believe the Carsons, but they weren’t foster kids- they were foster parents. She didn’t deserve friends. She was a loser. Someone whose parents just considered a punching bag.

In one of her dreams, two students were holding her down while another used a dental tool to pull out all her teeth. As much as she sweated during this dream. It was not the one that woke her up. Claire’s most horrifying dream started out so quietly. She was sitting in a classroom and watching the teacher put words on the board that Claire didn’t understand. The teacher asked a question and only Claire didn’t raise her hand. The teacher walked right up to her and asked for the answer. Claire didn’t have any idea what was right, she was afraid to admit she didn’t understand the words on the board. She just blurted out something she had read from the textbook- it was not the right answer. Suddenly, the teacher began looking just like her mom. She pointed her finger at Claire and cried out that she was a waste of space, taking up a seat that belonged to someone who mattered!

All the other students had just laughed and stared right through her. Claire’s scream woke up the Carsons. Mrs. Carson rushed into Claire’s room and talked softly to her, reminded her of the mindfulness steps and how she could help use them to her calm down. The fish that had been in the living room was now in Claire’s bedroom. Her special fish that helped her relax. Claire had mastered her relaxation because she had done them so many times before.

Now, just putting her face up to the fishbowl and watching her fish helped Claire calm down. It was 6 a.m. so Mrs. Carson suggested that Claire just take a long shower and they would have an early breakfast.  Mr. Carson was going to make her favorite pancake breakfast to celebrate her first day in school. Claire tried to smile at the Carsons at the breakfast table. They were so excited for her. They were smiling and looked so happy. If only she felt like them! But, all her fears had come back in a rush after her shower.

What if I flunk out my first week? What if the teachers agree with my mom about me?

After her first bite, Claire felt like she would throw up.  Claire’s fear of failure had hit her like a brick wall.

Have fears of failure every dropped a brick wall in front of you? Read about the ten common warning signs and what you might do to break through the wall at:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-squeaky-wheel/201306/10-signs-you-might-have-fear-failure

 

By  K. Hecht, A. Hosack & P. Berman

Wouldn’t Davy be better off with a dad? Maybe Larry could learn more patient in jail, and then they could be a happy family when he got out?

Claire was sending letters to Larry in secret. She would post the letters on her way to school.  She understood what the Carsons and Ms. Alexandra were saying about Larry being dangerous. She was as determined as ever that Davy never be hurt by Larry again. She had read an article Ms. Alexandra gave her and understood that if Davy continued to see violence between her and Larry, it could harm his brain development. Rather than learning how to stop and think, he could become like Larry and just react.  Davy was already learning how to name his feelings; he could become thoughtful and caring like Mr. Carson. Claire couldn’t let her own selfish desire to see Larry make Davy turn out to be impulsive and angry all the time like Larry. But….

Ms. Alexandra didn’t know about the letters and Claire.  But, when she visited to check on her, she realized that Claire was lonely and depressed.  The Carsons had encouraged her to reach out to make friends. It had seemed so promising when Claire had shadowed Shelly who then even helped her apply to Dental Hygienist school. They had hoped that Claire and Shelly would become friends; they were both single mom’s with young children.

Claire was very grateful to Shelly and thought she was very smart and nice. She listened to everything Shelly said but didn’t say much back. After helping Claire with her application to school, Shelly had smiled and said they should get together sometime. But, Claire didn’t realize that she should call Shelly and invite her to being her child to meet Davy and play in the yard.

Claire didn’t really know anything about the give and take of a normal friendship. The Carsons talked to Claire and she listened. She would tell them anything the Head Start teachers told her about Davy. The Carsons didn’t really know, what to “tell” Claire about making friends; their kids just seemed to do it on their own.

Children are born with an innate desire to form attachments to others. Destructively, the whole time Claire was growing up, her natural gestures- like watching her parents or reaching out her hands were either ignored or treated violently. Claire soon learned that the slightest sound on her part could set her mom or dad off on a beating rampage. She had learned to keep quiet and as she grew older, she did everything she could to teach her siblings how to be quiet. When she heard sounds of her parents fighting at night, she would round all them up so they would hide in the tall grass that surrounded the

outside of the house. At school, Claire had always tried to disappear into the background to keep the bullies at bay. Only Larry had been her friend.  Ms. Alexandra asked Claire why she loved Larry so much- even though he said cruel things to her and hit her. Ms. Alexandra was trying to help Claire learn the signs of a healthy attachment to someone else.  She had Claire observe the Carsons and write in a diary examples of how they treated each other, her, and Davy. Ms. Alexandra had helped Claire complete a free, online training called “Dating Matters” that provided information about reducing teen dating violence. Claire now realized that she felt close to Larry because of the sexual experiences she had shared with him. She also realized that he had forced her to have sex the first time.  Her relationships with the Carsons and Davy were the healthiest one she had ever experienced. She had even shared more of herself with Ms. Alexandra than with Larry!

If you wonder whether you are in a healthy relationship or not, you can go to the following link and then think it through

https://vetoviolence.cdc.gov/apps/datingmatters/

 

 

 

By P. Berman, K. Hecht & A. Hosack

Claire is the only one who cares about me.

Larry had a lot of time to himself in prison. One of the things he looked forward to each day was the possibility that a letter from Claire would arrive in the mail. While still angry at her, he realized that unlike the rest of the world, she cared that he existed

In her latest letter, Claire told him she had taken Davy to a Head Start picnic. The teachers had created silly contests for the kids to play. Davy had won a first- place ribbon because he ran so fast through their obstacle course.

Davy won a contest!

As Larry read, and re-read these comments about Davy, he experienced something odd.

Huh?…….(Larry shook his head)…What is this?

When on the outside, hearing Claire say Davy, triggered his rage; he had experienced this immediate gut reaction that Davy had turned his woman against him, making her question his actions.  Now, seeing the name Davy, and reading about what he had done, was making him feel proud. Most of the men he talked to in prison had kids on the outside and it was one of the few things they could talk about without getting into a fight.

Whenever they sat around the empty yard outside, or in the cafeteria, they would talk about the life they had left behind and read each other’s letters. At first, while Larry listened eagerly to other men’s letters, he hid his.  It had been a big risk to Larry, when he first offered to share one of Claire’s letters. They weren’t exactly embarrassing, but they were full of small kid stuff and Larry feared ridicule.

Overtime he realized the other men were as lonely as he was- and as anxious to avoid ridicule. All news from the outside was interesting in comparison to what was happening on the inside. Sometimes they laughed at things In each other’s letters, but in a companionable way- like they were some type of club or something.  Larry had begun to look forward to this sharing and was disappointed when he didn’t have anything new to offer. The guys were so hungry for any entertainment that they re-read old letters when there wasn’t anything new.

Some of these guys had literally been in prison the entire time their kids were growing up. They envied Larry that he would get out in time to teach Davy a few things.  It was strange for Larry to consider teaching Davy the stuff these guys were talking about, like how to play baseball or how to kiss a girl.  All Larry had learned from his dad was how to fight and how to hate.

Larry wondered if he could learn to be the kind of dad that taught his son things? The head of Martin’s gang was so smart it was scary. He was always talking to Larry about the bad things that happened to his own kids because he was stuck in jail.  Davy might get bullied at school for being poor, and for having a dad in prison. Who would stand up to any teachers who tried to push Davy around?

Larry is in prison, and Davy is not. This time spent apart has been found to have negative effects for both father and son. Programs such as Parenting Inside Out were designed to help incarcerated adults form healthy relationships with their children while in prison and continue those relationships outside. To learn more, visit: http://www.parentinginsideout.org

 

 

By A. Hosack, P. Berman, & K. Hecht

After being sentenced, Larry was escorted from the court room and sent to a holding cell. After a few hours, he was escorted towards a bus that was taking him and others to prison. One of his escorting police officers unintentionally stepped on his foot as they were walking. Larry didn’t believe in accidents, so he pushed the guard backward. As a result, two police officers strong armed him towards the bus and shoved him through the door. Larry fell and hit his head hard on a metal seat in the front row. H was pulled roughly to his feet and shackled to the bus seat by the guard on the bus who ignored Larry’s bleeding head.

Martin was already shackled in the front row. He had also had a “rough” entry into the bus. Without thinking, he had reached out to try and help Larry get up. Larry was about to thank Martin when he started back in surprise – noticing he was African-American. This was the first time in Larry’s life that he was face-to-face with anyone who was not White. Martin had met plenty of Whites in his life and generally kept his distance – they meant trouble. However, he had been raised by his grandmother to believe in God and try to treat others as he wanted to be treated. He reached out his hand to Larry.

Larry didn’t know how to take what had happened. Why would Martin have helped him? But, Martin had helped him and his hand was out, so Larry shook it. Once the bus was rolling, the two of them shared opinions of the judges who had sentenced them to prison. Neither had been to prison before and they didn’t admit it, they were both scared. Martin told Larry that his dad had been sent to prison and never came home. His grandmother couldn’t speak of it without crying.  Martin told Larry he was sorry he hadn’t known his dad, but his grandmother had taken great care of him and his three sisters. Larry didn’t say it out loud, but he thought Larry had been lucky to lose his dad.  The time past and to their surprise- Larry and Martin had a lot in common.

Once they got to the prison, they were separated. Larry was sent to a cell already occupied by a man about ten years older than him. When Larry tried to sit on the empty bunk in the cell, the man punched him repeatedly in the head and shoved him on the ground by the toilet; hitting his head on the toilet, he passed out. He woke up at night to find himself face down on the floor being raped by his roommate. When he tried to struggle, a blade was drawn against his neck and he went numb; there were more evil men than his dad… and he had just found one.

I don’t belong here! Get me out of here!

Larry could barely walk to breakfast when the guard opened the door and ordered him out. His roommate gave him a fast look, and he knew what it meant. The guard made a joke about the blood on his face, asking if he had started to eat something before breakfast; in that moment, Larry knew the guard understood what had happened to him and didn’t care. His dad had told him over and over what the world was like. Larry was learning the hard way his dad had been right. Was it safer to try to fight or go numb?

As he stood in line for breakfast, Larry had a hard time standing straight. The rape and his attempts to prevent it had caused some tearing of his groin muscles. Someone behind him was frustrated by his slow progress and shoved him hard forward. Larry staggered sideways and unintentionally bumped into the gang leader controlling life inside the prison. This could have been Larry’s last day in prison, but Martin rushed towards him and helped him again. He told Larry to apologize quick and then get back in line. Martin whispered in the gang leader’s ear; Martin had already found a place in the prison hierarchy because he was part of the same gang this man belonged in. However, he was low in the hierarchy and he knew he was taking a risk by speaking up for a White guy like Larry.

He took the risk because God would have wanted him too.  Many bad decisions had led Larry to ending up on the prison bus, but prisons were full of men like Larry, who grew up in poverty and had no idea how to fit in to the institutions of society- like the legal system. Larry was to find out later they had even more in common, they both had met girls in high school who now cared for their children. While he had never spoken to an African-American before, Larry was more like Martin than he was the lawyers and judge who presided over his legal case. While Larry didn’t believe in God as Martin did, Larry did share the same value for loyalty. From that moment in the cafeteria, Larry would have laid down his life to defend Martin.

Larry is in prison, and Davy is not. This time spent away from Davy effects both father and son. Programs such as Parenting Inside Out are working to help incarcerated adults form relationships with their children while in prison and continue those relationships outside. To learn more, visit: http://www.parentinginsideout.org

In addition, the Prison Entrepreneurship Program (PEP) a nonprofit organization that connects released felons with executives and entrepreneurs. The program focuses on teaching leadership and innovation skills, showing increased wages after release and lower recidivism rates. To learn more, visit: https://www.pep.org

 

 

By K. Hecht, A. Hosack, & P. Berman

Court resumed. Claire was seated back between the Carson’s. The other witnesses were heard. The waitress looked scared whenever she glanced towards Larry. He thought she must be crazy. He was the one facing jail time, not her. Larry didn’t think of himself as violent, and he couldn’t imagine why the waitress would be afraid of him just because she saw him punch Claire. Larry didn’t know it but it had taken support from the whole dinner staff to get her to testify. Everyone promised to take turns escorting her to her car after work, her boss had told her Larry would no longer be allowed in the diner. Her boss had driven her to court and was waiting to drive her back home. The other witnesses, who had seen Larry assault Claire, were less afraid than the waitress. They were a middle-aged couple who didn’t think Larry would be so fast to hit them as he had been to hit a young woman like Claire.

Larry would have been shocked and angered if he had known the witnesses thought he was dangerous. He had never hit anyone who hadn’t been begging for it. He was the victim here but none of these freaks from the restaurant recognized that!  It should have been clear to them that everything was going great at the diner- he was spending his hard- earned money- and then Claire caused problems. The jury were acting just as stupidly as the witnesses. They all seemed to be on Claire’s side now.

The prosecutor had put on his case. Now It was now the time for Mr. Branister to present Larry’s side of events. Larry had been carefully coached to only answer with “yes” and “no” when he was on the stand testifying. When Branister started asking him questions, he highlighted how Larry had been honest about admitting to the police that he had punched Claire. He had also asked questions about Larry’s work experience. The jury had heard that Larry had worked part-time during high school and full time since graduation and had only lost his job due to the present court action. He also brought to the court’s attention that Larry had no parking violations, speeding tickets or adult criminal record of any kind prior to the events at issue.

Branister had worked hard to prepare Larry for court the day before and he had heard a few details of Larry’s past–in a moment of terror about perhaps going to prison, some of it had just spilled out. Branister had wanted to raise his history of child abuse as a mitigating factor for the jury and judge to consider at sentences. However, Larry insisted his history remain privileged information. Larry was not going to have anyone consider him the kind of weakling that had been victimized as a child. Larry couldn’t imagine the jury would view him more favorably if they understand his history of abuse; they would just think less of him as a man.

Like many poor defendants, Larry was convicted and got a heavier sentence than other men who could afford private attorneys and were more knowledgeable about the judicial system. Larry’s case is an example of how the “justice system” was really functioning as a “legal system.” How might things have gone differently for a wealthier Larry? If he had been able to afford a private attorney, he would have been out of jail on bail as he waited for his court hearing. He would have avoided the stresses and violence of the jail setting and would not have been in fights with other inmates that would end up as further evidence against him. Larry would have appeared before the judge as a first-time offender with a clean adult criminal record. There were a lot of other “what-ifs” such as his ability to wear professional clothes in court and to understand how the court system work that would have benefited Larry. However, none of these “what-ifs” happened.

However, this isn’t what happened.  Larry had to stand up next to his attorney as he heard that the jury had found him guilty.

 

There is a movement to transform our legal system from its focus on retribution to a focus on restorative justice. If Larry had participated in a restorative justice process, he would have been first given resources, such as treatment for his history of victimization and social skill building. He would then have been expected to take actions to repair the harm he had caused Claire. Currently, there are eleven states in the USA that try to use principles of restorative justice within their court systems. The following three-minute video gives more information about how this might work.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8N3LihLvfa0

 

By K. Hecht, P. Berman, and A. Hosack

The trial had started.  Larry had been so fretful the night before that he almost fell asleep at the beginning when the attorneys were whispering something stupid to the judge.

Is Branister still on my side or is he making some deal for his own benefit?

Larry couldn’t imagine Branister could ever really care about what happened to him. His parents had beaten him to a pulp. His teachers had ignored his bruises and his lack of a lunch and just yelled at him about his homework. Despite his loyalty, the moment things got tough at work, his boss had fired him. The police couldn’t be trusted; t’y had taken Claire’s side against him. Then, there was Claire. His best friend who had just caused him to spend a hellish time in jail. How could Larry trust a lawyer he couldn’t even afford to pay? As the court proceeded with procedural issues he couldn’t understand, Larry developed a pounding headache.

Larry tried to reassure himself by looking over at the men in the jury box again. Men were in the majority, and this was hopeful. He was sure the three women on the jury had been out to get him from the looks they gave him after the picture of Claire with a black eye was entered into evidence. Larry almost jerked to his feet as he heard Claire’s name and saw her go into the jury box. Finally, he could look her in the face. He held her eyes for a moment and saw a tear run down her face.

Good. She finally realizes what she is doing to me and will make it right.

Claire was being asked to swear that she would tell the truth, but no words were coming out of her mouth. She was feeling torn in two. She still believed Larry was her dearest love but, in the month since Larry punched her, she had many talks with the Carsons and a long one that involved Ms. Alexandra from Child Protective Services.  With encouragement from Ms. Alexandra, Claire had told the Carsons some of the things she experienced as a child. While her foster parents had known that Claire had been “abused”, the word just meant, “badly parented” to them. The Carsons had stared in disbelief when Claire talked about her scars from being beaten until she showed them her back. Then, they just grabbed her into a bear hug and cried.

Ms. Alexandra had seen this type of abuse before and understood Claire’s feelings of attachment to Larry despite his abuse. She listened to all of them talk. The Carsons saying Claire should never see Larry again. Claire crying out how he had always been her only friend when she desperately needed someone. Ms. Alexandra’s turn came, and she asked Claire if she wanted Davy to have a childhood like hers.  Claire was shocked by the question. Of course, she wouldn’t want Davy to be treated like she had, but Larry was not like her dad; he wasn’t violent. And she wasn’t like her mom who hadn’t protected her in any way. Then, she remembered that she hadn’t stopped Larry from abusing Davy.

Claire woke up suddenly the night before the trial. In a dream, she had been reliving the evening when Davy had tried to get between Larry and her when they were fighting in Larry’s apartment. The dream was more dangerous than what had really happened. Rather than driving Claire and Davy home in a rage, in the dream, Larry threw Davy across the room for interfering. Davy’s little head had hit the wall, and blood had spurted out; Claire woke up sobbing. She ran to wake up the Carsons who spent the rest of the night calming her down.  She promised them that she would protect her Davy.

 I am not like my mom. Maybe, she loved her man like I love Larry but, I am a head start mom now. Davy had to be kept safe.

On the stand, Claire was an advocate for herself and Davy. She told the judge and jury about how Larry had mistreated Davy at his apartment. She then talked about what happened at the diner. Larry couldn’t believe what he was hearing. The jury were all nodding at her like they believed her nonsense!

“Shut up you bitch!” Larry screamed out in a rage.

Claire looked at him and whispered, “I love you Larry, but I am not going to be like my mother. Davy is going to come first. Davy has to be safe.” Claire then put her head down and burst into tears.

The judge ordered a recess.

By A. Hosack, K. Hecht, and P. Berman

Larry had no adult criminal record, so his case had started out simply enough. If nothing else had happened since the assault, Mr. Branister could have gotten the charges dropped, or maybe gotten Larry probation. Unfortunately, Larry had resisted arrest. Mr. Branister believed Larry’s story that he had been drunk when the police knocked on his door and that he had still been able to control himself until one of the officers had insulted him. Larry didn’t seem to understand that these facts would appear differently to the judge than they did to him. The judge was going to think he must have a serious alcohol problem that he had been drunk at 10 in the morning. This was not the only issue making Larry’s case more serious.  Since being in jail, rather than waiting “calmly” for his case to be called, Larry had been written up three times for getting into fights during the last two weeks. This was going to make it appear to the judge that Larry has a pattern of interpersonal violence that included both men and women. If things didn’t go just right in court, Larry was facing some serious jail time.

I don’t know what to do tomorrow. How am I supposed to act in court? What is this judge going to do? It seems like that prosecutor is out to get me? How am I going to protect myself?

These thoughts kept Larry from getting much of any sleep. Attorney Branister had told him all the things not to do. But, what was he supposed to do? He couldn’t believe he was supposed to just sit there and shut up. Only suckers did that. Should he trust Branister? All of these guys who seemed to have more control than him, the judge, the prosecutor,and  this Branister  were all so different than Larry. Could  they ever understand what was really going on between Claire and him?

It started out as planned. Larry came in and sat down next to Mr. Branister who reminded him again that he should stay completely quiet unless addressed by the judge or an attorney.  He told Larry to trust him, to handle anything that happened and to especially not make any effort to talk to Claire or any other witnesses. Larry hated being told what to do, it made him feel like a puppet. But he felt very out-of-place in the court room. He was in his jail jump suit, his lawyer and the prosecutor were in black suits. In fact, besides looking alike, they exchanged friendly hellos as if they knew each other. He didn’t get this setup at all.  Larry wondered again if he Mr. Branister would sell him out.

Larry was staying in his seat with his mouth shut but he kept twisting around trying to get a good look at Claire. He knew she loved him. He figured with one good look in her eyes, she would back down and drop the assault charges. That might have worked, but Larry never got the chance. Claire was there but she was flanked by her foster parents and Ms. Hysock from Child Protective Services and he could not get a direct look in her face. There were also three other strangers who came in and talked to the prosecutor briefly before the judge started the hearing.

Who are all these people? One woman looked vaguely familiar… Oh yeah, he remembered with a groan, it was the crazy waitress from the diner. She might have seen him hit Claire. Would she admit the truth? That Claire had asked for it?

Larry tried to ask his attorney a question but got hushed. . . the all-mighty judge was walking in.  Larry had expected that the hearing would start right away but the judge was just sitting there reading papers. To Larry, it looked like the judge was reading as slowly as possible to make the point that he was

important, and Larry was not. As his stress rose, Larry’s legs begin to bounce and they accidentally bumped the table. Attorney Branister whispered to him to stop it. The judge hears this and looks up, “You want to make a statement Mr. Branister?”

The judge’s tone, which Larry read as sarcastic, made him instantly furious. He didn’t know court always proceeded like this. He felt the judge was jerking him around because he had a public defender instead of a real, fancy attorney like the ones who helped the rich guys he had seen on TV. What was the problem that Larry wanted to move his legs a little? His legs were going numb from all this waiting.

Attorney Branister knew that everything was proceeding normally and before responding to the judge, tried to convey that Larry needed to just stay put and let him handle everything by raising his eyebrows and motioning downward with his hands. He then jumped to his feet and said, “No judge, I am sorry to have disturbed your review judge.”

Larry felt the rules in this court room were intended to make him feel totally controlled and put down.  Larry heard a very different message in his head from the one his attorney had intended to send.  Larry heard, “already you are screwing things up, stop it or I’m done with you.”

The judge had finished reading about Larry’s past criminal record. He noted that Larry had no previous adult charges and his juvenile record contained no violence, just truancy and drunk driving. The judge was relieved that he wouldn’t have to hold Larry over longer in jail because it was already over-crowded. He turned a page and reached the part of the complaint that Claire had signed, he looked at the picture the police officers had taken of her face. He then read the signed statements the police officers had taken at the diner from a waitress and two patrons who had been witnesses to the assault. Things were looking worse, but probation rather than jail might still be on the table. Then, the judge got to the arrest documents and saw that Larry had attacked a police officer and gotten into several fights in jail while awaiting trial; this whole case was looking much more serious.

The judge looked up at the Public Defender, “Mr. Branister, how does your client plead?”

Larry was covered in sweat. His stomach was tied up in knots.  His hands were numb from sitting on them to prevent pounding on the table. Would Branister sell him down the river?

Branister stood up and said, “Not guilty your honor.”

Larry could breathe again. His attorney was fighting for his rights.

 

 

By P. Berman, K. Hecht, and A. Hosack

Life in jail was paralleling Larry’s life growing up; he was always being humiliated or beaten up by someone with more power than him. At night when he was finally was able to fall asleep, he had bizarre dreams in which he always ended up begging Claire to drop the charges and let him out of jail. Waking up from these dreams was an exercise in self-hatred. While they were just “dreams,” Larry felt they were signs that he was not a “real” man. None of the men he knows at the bar, and certainly not his dad, would ever beg a woman for anything. Claire should be coming to jail every day and begging for his forgiveness. She had never come by and something in his mind was telling him he had reversed roles with her.

He couldn’t get out of his head what the police had said to each other as they had driven off with him in the back of their patrol car. They were talking about Claire, and with him off the streets, how she was now safe.

Claire didn’t need protection from him! He had been her protector at school from all the guys who had been bullying her.

When they charged Larry at the station, they showed him a photo of Claire with a black eye. He didn’t deny he punched her, but he tried to explain that she had asked for it and she knew it! Larry wondered over and over what crazy thoughts the Carsons were stuffing into Claire’s head that would make her press charges against him just because he hit her at the restaurant.

It was her dad she was terrified of, not him!

Claire was always black and blue from something she had done to irritate her parents; he had been the one to comfort her! When they were dating in high school, things went smoothly most of the time. But sometimes she had needed to be reminded that he was calling the shots. She had always learned before.

She was so grateful when I stopped by the house after giving her the cold shoulder for a month. Now that was how things should be between men and women.

He was dragged out of his cell by the guard saying it was time to meet his attorney. Larry looked up at the clock and was instantly furious; it was forty minutes later than his appointment had been scheduled. Larry had never met an attorney before but had seen plenty of police shows on TV.  Attorneys only treated scum this way, and he was not scum. This guy was supposed to prove that in court. A very angry Larry was shoved into a small room with a table. The guard then slammed and locked the door.

Larry’s attorney didn’t even look up; he just started to talk fast while reading a pile of documents. “My name is Mr. Branister, and I am your assigned public defender. . .” Larry broke in and said, “How about an apology for keeping me waiting like an idiot for forty minutes.” The attorney didn’t bother to look up. He just said, “I have about fifteen of you guys to see today, and it doesn’t always go smoothly.”

That was no apology. Mr. Branister clearly didn’t think he deserved one. There he sat, not even looking him in the eyes like a man. Clearly, he thought Larry was a bug beneath his feet.

Mr. Branister had succeeded in humiliating Larry in about thirty seconds—but that had not been his intention. Some people called it “unconscious cultural elitism” that can be common among individuals who have lived privileged lives. Mr. Branister had never gone hungry, never been beaten, never wondered if he would live to see the next day – but Larry had. Until Mr. Branister had agreed to be a public defender to help him gain experience as an attorney, he had never met anyone who had gone to jail before; he just didn’t have a clue how tough life had been for Larry. He thought of Larry as one more guy that he had to process that day, not a guy whose whole live had been turned upside down and who desperately needed help.

Larry stood up, pushed at the papers on the desk and yelled that he expected to be treated with respect. Rather than apologizing, this Branister quickly closed his briefcase and said he would be off to see the next guy on his list. All of the fight went out of Larry in that instant. He had been so sure he would finally get out of jail. Now, his attorney was threatening not to help him.

“You gotta get me out of here. The other guys, even the guards, are treating me like I am their private punching ball. Of course, I am fighting back! What else would you expect me to do?”

The attorney looked up at Larry, looked back at his paperwork, and saw how young Larry was. . . the same age as his younger brother who always had trouble keeping his mouth shut. Mr. Branister took a deep breath and said, “Larry, let’s start over.”

 

 

 

3/22/2019 Part 27    Claire’s Story: Larry is headed for a tough day in court

By A. Hosack, K. Hecht, and P. Berman

Larry had no adult criminal record, so his case had started out simply enough. If nothing else had happened since the assault, Mr. Branister could have gotten the charges dropped, or maybe gotten Larry probation. Unfortunately, Larry had resisted arrest. Mr. Branister believed Larry’s story that he had been drunk when the police knocked on his door and that he had still been able to control himself until one of the officers had insulted him. Larry didn’t seem to understand that these facts would appear differently to the judge than they did to him. The judge was going to think he must have a serious alcohol problem that he had been drunk at 10 in the morning. This was not the only issue making Larry’s case more serious.  Since being in jail, rather than waiting “calmly” for his case to be called, Larry had been written up three times for getting into fights during the last two weeks. This was going to make it appear to the judge that Larry has a pattern of interpersonal violence that included both men and women. If things didn’t go just right in court, Larry was facing some serious jail time.

I don’t know what to do tomorrow. How am I supposed to act in court? What is this judge going to do? It seems like that prosecutor is out to get me? How am I going to protect myself?

These thoughts kept Larry from getting much of any sleep. Attorney Branister had told him all the things not to do. But, what was he supposed to do? He couldn’t believe he was supposed to just sit there and shut up. Only suckers did that. Should he trust Branister? All of these guys who seemed to have more control than him, the judge, the prosecutor,and  this Branister  were all so different than Larry. Could  they ever understand what was really going on between Claire and him?

It started out as planned. Larry came in and sat down next to Mr. Branister who reminded him again that he should stay completely quiet unless addressed by the judge or an attorney.  He told Larry to trust him, to handle anything that happened and to especially not make any effort to talk to Claire or any other witnesses. Larry hated being told what to do, it made him feel like a puppet. But he felt very out-of-place in the court room. He was in his jail jump suit, his lawyer and the prosecutor were in black suits. In fact, besides looking alike, they exchanged friendly hellos as if they knew each other. He didn’t get this setup at all.  Larry wondered again if he Mr. Branister would sell him out.

Larry was staying in his seat with his mouth shut but he kept twisting around trying to get a good look at Claire. He knew she loved him. He figured with one good look in her eyes, she would back down and drop the assault charges. That might have worked, but Larry never got the chance. Claire was there but she was flanked by her foster parents and Ms. Hysock from Child Protective Services and he could not get a direct look in her face. There were also three other strangers who came in and talked to the prosecutor briefly before the judge started the hearing.

Who are all these people? One woman looked vaguely familiar… Oh yeah, he remembered with a groan, it was the crazy waitress from the diner. She might have seen him hit Claire. Would she admit the truth? That Claire had asked for it?

Larry tried to ask his attorney a question but got hushed. . . the all-mighty judge was walking in.  Larry had expected that the hearing would start right away but the judge was just sitting there reading papers. To Larry, it looked like the judge was reading as slowly as possible to make the point that he was

3/18/2019 Part 25               Claire’s Story: What would she do without Head Start?

By A. Hosack, P. Berman, & K. Hecht

Davy had been going to Head Start for months now; sometimes he fussed getting ready, but he always seemed happy when he got off the bus at the end of the day. Claire has been going to some parenting programs Head Start offered on the weekends. She was learning a lot and had begun to trust Davy’s teachers and the program–they really understood kids!

When Claire thought back on the night when Larry hurt Davy, she felt that all the problems were caused by Larry’s lack of understanding of normal child development. Claire understood why Larry felt Davy was spoiled; she was sure both her parents would agree. But the more she learned, the more she was sure that she and Larry had parents who didn’t have a clue how to understand their own children. She hadn’t come around to understanding that she and Larry were abused by their parents, but she did, once and a while, wish she and Larry had been given the opportunity to go to Head Start when they were kids. If they had, maybe now she, Davy, and Larry would be a happy family.

It was sad that Larry didn’t know how great his son was doing at school. His teachers were always sending good reports home of how Davy was listening and learning at school. She had seen his growth herself when she took her turn volunteering in the classroom.

It isn’t easy to take care of babies who need everything from their caregivers and can’t give anything substantial back in return. Babies wake up repeatedly during the night to be fed or changed, so caregivers must deal with a one-way exchange of resources while being very tired. Young, single parents like Claire are facing even greater stressors because they didn’t plan to have a child and they don’t have a loving partner and family to support them. Claire and Larry are parents at the highest risk for abuse because they didn’t learn anything about healthy parenting as they were growing up in abusive families. Instead, they only learned to hide, scream, or hit.

Claire is fortunate Child Protective Services was able to find her foster parents; there are very few foster families that will take adolescents and even fewer who will take adolescents and their children. Claire is also fortunately Head Start had room for Davy; while, Head Start has been found effective in helping children and parents- it is underfunded so currently reaches only 50% of eligible children (www.NAEYC.org). Funding Head Start does have a direct cost to taxpayers, but research has documented that for every $1 invested in preschool services, the US economy saves approximately $7 in later indirect costs from the impact of child abuse and neglect. To learn more, you can visit: https://www.ed.gov/budget14/faqs/early-learning, https://www.nber.org/papers/w13016.pdf)

Mr. Carson didn’t need to read research on Head Start. He had seen with his own eyes the changes in both Davy and Claire in the short time they had participated. He was on his church board and they were often looking for good causes to support. He decided to talk about Head Start at the church meeting the next day; maybe they would help fund the local program so it could help more families?

Mr. Carson was doing a form of social advocacy that might really help other poor parents like Claire and Davy.

Would you support spending money in support of Head Start if you were on the church board?

Do you belong to any organizations that might help support a local Head Start? Speaking to the board of an organization can be nerve wracking. But on the other hand, Head Start is effective and needs money. Consider taking a step to help the many Claire’s of the world by speaking up wherever you can.

 

 

 

 

3/15/2019 Part 24                                     Claire’s Story: Larry is Sent to Jail

By P. Berman, K. Hecht, & A. Hosack

Larry didn’t go to the police station after work. After all, he didn’t really have any unpaid parking tickets. He didn’t know what to do. He didn’t have anyone to talk to about it. His father would just laugh and call him a loser.  Claire was his one and only friend ever since they had been kids. Now, she seemed to be turning on him.

I can’t believe that bitch is pressing charges against me! This whole mess is her stupid kid’s fault!

Larry did the only thing he knew how to do when life got tough; he knocked back beers and watched TV.

He was drunk by 10 a.m. when two police officers came back to his apartment and knocked on his door. This time, he opened it. He needed his job at the bar, and his boss had made it clear the police better not show up there again. When one officer said he was under arrest, Larry said, “for what?!” The officer politely said he was accused of assaulting a 17-year-old woman. Under his breath, the second officer, who had interviewed Claire, muttered, “scumbag.” Larry was too drunk to think . . . he just jumped on the police officer who insulted him, and, before he knew it, he was handcuffed in the back of the police car with a face that would soon be swelling big time.

The police officers added resisting arrest to the charges facing Larry. When Larry was taken in front of the magistrate later in the day, his bail was set at $250,000. Larry had maybe twenty-five dollars hidden around his apartment in case of emergency. He literally had no one who would lend him a dime. Since he couldn’t make bail, he was to the county jail to wait for the preliminary hearing on his charges. Larry had been allowed to make one phone call. He didn’t have anyone to call but his boss. He tried to explain that, while he couldn’t make it to work tomorrow because his ex-girlfriend had made a phony assault charge against him, he would fight it and be back to work soon. His boss fired Larry over the phone, saying he couldn’t have a bouncer with a jail record.

Larry’s mind was in chaos. He was led back to his cell and pushed inside for moving too slow. Larry woke back up to his surroundings to find that he had bumped into his cellmate who promptly punched him hard in the stomach. Larry knew what to do now. The fight was on.

The guards heard the bodies slamming into the walls of the cell and came running. They entered the cell and pulled the men apart. Now, Larry was going to have fighting in jail as part of his record. . .

What’s going to happen to Larry? Does he deserve this?