By     A. Hosack, K. Hecht & P. Berman, 

 

I tried to be a slave to Larry- doing everything he wanted to escape the loneliness. I don’t feel lonely when I am with the Carsons- am I acting like a slave again? 

Claire found it very hard to start writing down her memories of Larry. But, after that day in the woods when she finally got started, she had been able to write down one memory a day; her notebook now had ten pages of memories in it. She just wasn’t sure she ever wanted to share these with anyone- even Dr. Berman. It had surprised her but writing about Larry had made her own behavior clearer. She realized that to keep him close, and escape feeling lonely, she had done everything he asked; even when she really didn’t want to, even when he had just beaten her black and blue. Even these beatings had felt better than that deep pit of isolation she felt when he was gone. 

Claire had begun to fear she was acting the same way with the Carsons. She had made the type of breakfast they wanted this morning. They had told her when it was time to get ready for her appointment. They had told her they would play in the park with Davy until her appointment was over.  Was she being a slave to the Carsons like she had been to Larry? 

“Claire, are you ready?” Dr. Berman was looking at her and smiling from her office doorway. Claire had been staring at her notebook. She jumped up when she heard Dr. Berman’s voice and tried to smile as she walked into the office. They were both sitting down now, and Dr. Berman was looking at her with a question on her face. 

She is waiting for me. I should be saying something.  

Claire was clutching her notebook. She didn’t want to hand it to Dr. Berman. It was too deeply personal. What should she say? She realized she was stressing herself out with negative thoughts. She knew better that to let herself keep doing this. She took three slow big breaths and slowed her mind down. Then she looked at Dr. Berman and said, “writing down my memories with Larry has been hard. (1-minute pause) but… I realized that I had this big open pit of loneliness in me that filled up when I was with him.   

  

“Can you tell me about this pit Claire?”  

“My dad always used to beat me in the basement of our house. It was always cold and dim. It didn’t have much of anything in it except hooks for dad’s tools and the belts he liked to use when he (two-minute pause) when he was angry about something. He would lock me in there for hours sometimes, if the beating didn’t seem enough to him. (one-minute pause) I first remembered feeling all alone, when I was down there. The walls were so thick. I couldn’t hear what was happening in the rest of the house or outside. I was just alone and hurting,” Claire looked down at her notebook and put it down on the floor. Then, she kicked it under her chair as if somehow this would put the pain further away from herself. 

“And now your dad can’t do that to you anymore. (one-minute pause) You are safe from his physical attacks but?” Dr. Berman whispered. 

“I don’t know why but, but I hear my mom’s voice in my head all the time, (one-minute pause) but I don’t hear my dad’s voice. I just sometimes have a daydream or nightmare about his beatings (one-minute pause) but…that feeling of being in a dark place cut off from everyone, I always still feel that   if I am alone,” Claire looked at Dr. Berman and said softly, “I am afraid I am clinging to the Carsons, like I did to Larry just to not be alone in that cold dark place.” 

“You are comparing how you acted with Larry to how you are acting with the Carsons?” Dr. Berman said softly. 

“Yes,” Claire said emphatically, “I did everything Larry said so that he wouldn’t leave me. Now, I am doing everything the Carsons say,” Claire said, wiping tears from her face. 

“You don’t want to be a slave anymore (Claire nodded). Why don’t you tell me what you did yesterday and let me know what you did just because someone told you to do it,” Dr. Berman suggested. 

Claire began reflecting on what had happened yesterday. It had been a busy day. She had to be at work by 8:00 and set up the dental office for the day. “Well, Davy woke me up at 6:30,” Claire smiled, “he has become the family wake-up service. He wanted his own alarm clock for his birthday. At night, he likes to set up the alarm with me right before he gets into bed. The clock wakes him up and then he bounces around the house waking us all up and saying he is starving for breakfast.” 

“Davy wanted to wake you up, so you got him a clock. Did you buy him the clock just because he told you too?” 

Claire frowned in thought, “Not exactly. He had been waking up early when he could hear the birds singing outside his window. This was shorting me an hour sleep so I had started showing him my clock and how he could tell if it was really time to wake me up,” Claire said. 

“Whose idea was that,” Dr. Berman asked. 

“It was my idea,” Claire said dismissively, “when his birthday was coming up, he said since he would be a bigger boy soon could he have his own clock to tell time. I took him to the store just to look at all the clocks; I told him he was getting one birthday present from me so he should be sure that what he wanted was really a clock. The moment he saw this clock shaped like a dog- his mind was made up; it is the silliest thing. The clock was fifteen dollars, but it would fit within my budget. Davy was cute but annoying,” Claire said, “We saw the clock about two weeks before his birthday. Every single morning,” Claire sighed, “I had to take out the calendar and count with him how many days were left before I would go buy his clock,” Claire laughed softly. 

“Davy wanted to wake you up, but it wasn’t his idea or the Carsons’ idea to go the store and look at clocks?  (Claire shook her head no) Did the Carsons tell you not to buy the clock until his birthday?”  

“No,” Claire said, “these were my ideas, but it was the Carsons who taught me how to shop on a budget, carefully checking prices and then deciding when I could afford to buy something, I wanted but didn’t need.” 

“You learned about shopping from them. (Claire nodded) But they didn’t tell you what to buy, they showed you how to be a smart shopper. (Claire nodded) At least in figuring out how to get Davy not to wake you up early, looking at clocks and trying to teach him how to be a smart shopper, all these steps were your ideas?” 

“Yes, but the Carsons taught me how to do these things,” Claire said.  

“Is there a difference between doing what you are told- like you did with Larry and learning how to make decisions from the Carsons?” Dr. Berman asked. 

 Claire had a very traumatic childhood where she wasn’t taught healthy ways to develop relationships with others, how to recognize and regulate her emotions and many other things- all things she needed to know to not continue living a violent lifestyle. Dr. Peg Steep wrote an article for woman who had not felt loved by their mothers. She provides some guidelines for helping women like Claire, recognize if they have begun to heal and become the people they want to be. To read about these steps go to: 

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/tech-support/201908/12-signs-youre-healing-toxic-childhood 

By    P. Berman, A. Hosack & K. Hecht 

How can I describe it? The way the pain felt blended into my body?  The pain felt separate from the bruises and abrasions on my skin. Can I pull my torn pieces together? 

Claire was remembering the first time Larry had hurt her, really hurt her. She wasn’t writing anything. Somehow just thinking about writing it, made her feel the pain again. Her belief in Larry as her perfect protector had literally been beaten out of her head. It started at lunch. He had been late meeting her and when he showed up, she had freaked out. She had run up to him in front of all the lunch crowd asking him nonstop questions. She had been so worried he mouth had gone a mile a minute. Was he alright? Where had he been? Did he need something? Larry had roughly shoved her away. Glaring, he told her to stop trying to control him. 

Scarlet faced, and trembling Claire had rushed out of the cafeteria and gone to hide in a bathroom stall. She sat on the toilet and held her head in her hands trying to calm herself down. Her trembling hadn’t ended until she had already missed one class. All she could think of was that Larry was mad at her. Really mad and it was all her fault. If she lost her first and only love it would be all her fault. She finally got her courage and snuck out of the building. She hoped and feared he would be waiting for her in their special place. 

Larry was there! But he was pacing back and forth in a rage. She hid behind a tree and watched him. Should she try to apologize? Should she stay away? Something about the way his body looked as he was walking filled her with fear; he was so angry. But maybe she could fix it? Should she try? For what seemed like an endless amount of time, she watched him from behind a tree. Suddenly, he looked her way- did he see her? She froze, hugging the tree, burying her face against it. 

Larry was on her in a moment. He grabbed the hair at the back of her head and yanked her away from the tree. He accused her of spying on him, of wanting to suck away any air he tried to breathe. Since she loved the tree so much, he told her she could eat it. With that, he had slammed her head over and over into the tree trunk until blood was pouring down her face, then he suddenly let go of her hair and she dropped to the ground. Without a backward look, he stalked off deeper into the woods.  

Your head can’t still hurt. It was long ago. Don’t run away, face it, write it down. 

Claire began to write. She felt it was like she was up in the clouds looking down at herself. She could see herself like a lump at the base of the tree- bleeding, not making a sound. She remembered how much her head was hurting and how the blood was saturating the dirt around her. She hadn’t made any attempt to wipe the blood off her face. She was letting herself disappear into the base of the tree. 

Stand up Claire, walk back to school. Get on the bus. Do something. Don’t just take it. Don’t just lay there.  

The Claire in the clouds was trying to encourage her other self, but it wasn’t working. The Claire in the dirt didn’t know how to take action to solve a problem; that Claire only knew how to react to what others did to her. As she wrote, part of Claire realized how much she had learned about people, since that terrible day in the woods. Larry had shown her that day, that he was dangerous but all she had done was to try and placate him- to be his perfect victim so he wouldn’t leave her. All her gut instincts had told her to cling to him, to beg him for forgiveness- not run away; even though he had left her bleeding in the woods.  

Would I run away now? I do cling to the Carsons and to Davy; does this show the same desperation? 

Claire had been so deeply lonely before Larry entered her life.  She didn’t want to be lonely again. She wanted to believe she had learned how to help herself. She wanted to believe that she loved the Carsons for who they were, but she worried that she was clinging to them- just like she had clung to Larry- to avoid feeling alone. 

Research summarized by Hawkley and Cacioppo (2010) found that 15-30% of the population in the USA reported chronic loneliness. These authors investigated loneliness under the theory that for people like Claire, social isolation meant feeling unsafe and led to constantly searching the world for signs of threat. This state of constant “vigilance” could explain Claire’s difficulty controlling her thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. 

To read more about this research, and possible ways to help chronically lonely people read: 

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3874845/ 

Are you feeling socially isolated? Consider if taking a personal advocacy step might help. Push yourself to say hello to someone new to begin getting comfortable reaching out. 

 

By   K. Hecht, P. Berman & A. Hosack, 

Here I am alone in the woods.  I can’t get my mind to slow down!! Am I going crazy??? 

Claire has been wandering around the woods behind the Carsons house. She has finally found a spot that looks like her “special place” with Larry. She is sitting on a blanket with her notepad on her lap, covered in her tears. She is supposed to be writing down her memories of Larry. This is the second day she has done nothing.

At least this time, she didn’t fall asleep on the blanket. She has been trying to write. Memories flood so fast- she will try some deep breathing and try to slow them down. (3-minute pause) Slowly, slowly, so slowly she breathes until finally her brain cooperates and she is thinking one thought at a time. 

Okay you aren’t crazy; you can get your mind to slow down. Forgetting Larry is not an option. Deal with it- you’re a mother. You can do anything. (2-minute pause) Start writing already. You gave birth by yourself and survived just fine. You can remember Larry and deal with it.   

Claire decides she will just start that first moment when she saw Larry for the first time. She writes, “I was scared at first when he began punching those boys. I didn’t realize he was coming to help me. I don’t know what I thought. Maybe I didn’t think at all. I remember trying to cringe into the wall and become part of it. I watched as he threw the guy who had been holding me against the wall across the corridor. The guy picked himself up and disappeared.  Why didn’t I run away? I guess I was so terrified my mind shut down. Then, it happened. The second boy was gone; I don’t even remember how that happened. He had been trying to pull my skirt off and then, he was gone.” (3-minute pause, Claire is wiping tears off her face). 

“I must have looked a mess from those boys being so rough. Larry looked at me in this way no one ever looked at me before. Like I counted. Like I wasn’t invisible. He used his hands so gently to adjust my hair and then my clothes. I realized then he wasn’t going to hurt me. He put his arm around me and gave me a gentle hug; I remember letting my head rest briefly on his shoulder.” 

Claire was crying again. She laid down on the blanket and just let herself cry for that precious moment when she thought a miracle had occurred. Someone cared about her. She fell asleep, exhausted from crying. Thirty minutes later Mrs. Carson found Claire sleeping peacefully. She had come looking for Claire who had left the house two hours ago. She saw that Claire had filled her notebook with pages of her writing. Mrs. Carson wanted so much to read Claire’s work.  

I will not intrude. Claire told me she was going to be writing about Larry. I won’t read it, but I WANT TO! 

Mrs. Carson honored Claire’s right to privacy- but it was hard. She whispered Claire’s name. She didn’t want to startle her, but it was time to leave the woods and get ready for Davy who would be coming home soon from Shelly’s house. He was playing with his best friend and would no doubt come home covered in mud and ready to talk to Claire a mile a minute about their make-believe games. Claire had not stirred. Mrs. Carson called out her name twice, not loud but no longer whispering. 

Claire stirred and looked up and smiled at Mrs. Carson. “I have had this wonderful dream about Davy. He had been playing a little too roughly on the swings at the park and had fallen off and scratched himself all over his face and arms. I gently adjusted his hair and straightened his clothes. Davy looked up at me and realized he was okay. (1-minute pause) It reminded me so much of a time when Larry had done this for me. (1-minute pause, Claire looked uncertainly at Mrs. Carson) I makes me happy to think I might have learned something good from Larry.” 

Mrs. Carson didn’t know what to say so she just smiled and held her hand out to Claire, “our Davy will be coming home soon.” Claire jumped up, grabbed the blanket and took Mrs. Carson’s hand. “Thank you so much for keeping me from missing my little mud monster’s blast back into the house.” They laughed together as they walked back home. Happy together in the moment, both looking forward to Davy coming home. 

Claire has good memories of Larry. He did honestly try to be good to Claire. But he did abuse her emotionally and physically many times. It wasn’t easy for Mrs. Carson to give Claire the privacy to work out her own thoughts about Larry. He was like this difficult horrible person who somehow would always be a part of their lives. 

Dr. Abigail Brenner provides seven strategies for trying to deal with someone who might be causing you a lot of suffering or pain but who is connected to you in intimate ways like a family member. Would any of these strategies help Claire? Are they only good for non-violent relationships? Decide for yourself by reading her advice at: 

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/in-flux/201802/7-strategies-deal-difficult-family-members 

By   A. Hosack, K. Hecht & P. Berman 

How can I be so selfish? I hate dreams. I hate myself. 

Claire is in Dr. Berman’s office. This was supposed to be a family meeting with Davy. However, at the last moment, Claire had called in and asked for a private appointment. She had her own disturbing week of dreams. She needed to do talk with Dr. Berman before she made some terrible mistake. She had already made so many of those. 

“Claire, you sounded so distressed on the phone, what happened?” Dr. Berman asked. 

“I am so full of self-hate right now. I just don’t know what to do. I can control my thoughts for a moment but then they are back, bigtime- I could just…explode.” Claire whispered. 

“You say you feel like you could explode, but you are whispering,” Dr. Berman asked.  

“I don’t know. Somehow, I feel that whispering will keep the anger in,” Claire whispered again.  

“Is it safe to let it out? (1-minute pause) It makes sense to me that you didn’t bring Davy if you feel that your emotions are overwhelming. (1-minute pause) Can you tell me about your anger?” asked Dr. Berman. 

“You have tried too hard to help me think through important decisions and I am back sliding in a terrible way.  I want to make healthy choices but…” (2-minute pause, Claire is crying).  

“First you were whispering. Now you are crying. Can you allow yourself to be angry?” Dr. Berman asked. 

Claire blew her nose and looked up. “I don’t want to be angry. When I am angry, sometimes I do or say things I regret,” Claire said looking straight at Dr. Berman. 

“That sounds human to me,” Dr. Berman said. “It is wrong to abuse someone when you are angry, but telling me what is happening, but not abusing me, is an adult way to work through your anger,” Dr. Berman said matter-of-factly. 

Claire sniffed and said, “I would never abuse you. You have always been so kind to me. (2-minute pause, Claire is feeling burning hot shame as she remembers hitting Davy when he wouldn’t come out from under the bed, she had never told anyone about this, and so far-Davy hadn’t either) I have done things I am very ashamed of and these dreams…” (1-minute pause) 

“I am the only one here with you. You feel confident you wouldn’t harm me. I think this means you could safely tell me what you are very ashamed of right now,” Dr. Berman whispered. 

“I keep having dreams about Larry. They should be angry dreams because he has hurt my Davy. (1-minute pause) I am working so hard, and Davy is working so hard- to end his terrible nightmares. (1-minute pause) I don’t understand myself- how I can I be having dreams where… (1-minute pause) Larry has his arms around me, and I just feel so blissfully happy. (1-minute pause, Claire blows her nose). How can I be happy in these dreams with a man who gives my sweet boy such terrible nightmares?” 

“Having a dream of being happy with Larry is not the same as deciding to sacrifice Davy’s happiness and safety to be with Larry.” Dr. Berman said softly.  

(2-minute pause, Claire finally looks up at Dr. Berman), “Are you sure I am not sacrificing Davy? In the dream, it’s just me and Larry… as if Davy has no importance at all,” Claire said sadly. 

“I hear how that bothers you. But, I know, the Carsons know, and even Davy knows that you truly love Davy and would never push his welfare aside,” Dr. Berman said firmly. 

“He is precious so why can’t I let go of Larry? Why would I ever think of him, let alone… long to be with him?” Claire asked. 

“Larry has been part of your life for a long time. You need to forgive yourself for needing time to work this through. (Claire looks down and sighs) What does the sigh represent?” 

Claire looks up and says, “The dream was so wonderful. Larry was holding my hand

we were walking down the back road behind the school. I was just listening. He was 

talking about how much he was learning at work and when we both graduated from  

high school, we would get on the bus and move to some great city. I squeezed his hand 

and he looked down at me, smiled, and gave me this long, soft, beautiful kiss.” Claire was 

crying silently, “then I woke up, back in the real world where Larry gives my Davy nightmares.”  

“Claire, that does sound like a wonderful dream. (1-minute pause) Did you ever have a real  experience with Larry that was like that?” Dr. Berman asked.  

“The woods in the dream reminded me of our special place. When Larry was in a good mood, between school and work we would go to small, private little grassy space surrounded by woods. He always wanted sex first but then, he would hold me in this gentle embrace and tell me about his dreams,” Claire said with a sigh.  

“It sounds like Larry had some great dreams for starting a new future. (1-minute pause) But,  maybe he didn’t know exactly what he would need to do to get beyond the dream to making it real.”  

“We did both graduate,” Claire said defensively.  

“I wasn’t criticizing you or Larry,” Dr. Berman explained, (1-minute pause) “I just meant he dreamed about you both getting on the bus. How would you make that part of the dream real?  You would need money to go. You would need to know where you were going. (1-minute pause) You would need to find a place to live and jobs to pay the bills. (2-minute pause) Did either of you think about these steps?” Dr. Berman said gently.  

Claire was looking down and seemed to be thinking. (2-minute pause) She looked up and said, “I have been trying to remember all the times we talked about our future. You are right, we kind of stopped thinking beyond wanting to get on a bus and leave. (1-minute pause) Of course, we didn’t know that I would be moving in with the Carsons. We might have gotten to that point.”  

“True, that was unexpected. You have a long history with Larry. I was wondering whether you might want to start writing some of it down,” Dr. Berman suggested.   

“But, if I write down all the good memories, won’t it make it harder for me to stay away from him?” Claire asked fearfully, “I don’t want to do anything to hurt my Davy.”  

“Forgetting Larry, (Claire looked startled) is not an option (Claire sighed). He will always have been your first friend and your high school love.”  

“I don’t want Davy to know that I love his dad,” Claire said.  

“I don’t think Davy should be a part of this. I think these are all your memories of Larry. But, be true to what happened, tell all the details you remember, not just the ones that seem like a perfect dream,” Dr. Berman said.  

“There were a lot of mixed or bad times, (1-minute pause) I don’t want to remember those,” Claire said.  

“I know that will be hard. It is up to you, but if you want to come to terms with the part Larry should play in your future, you need to think about all of it,” Dr. Berman said.  

“I might get really upset and Davy would want to know why. (2-minute pause) He is getting very tuned into everyone’s feelings since we started doing that feeling homework.”  

“Would it keep Davy out of it if you only wrote about Larry after dinner when Davy is asleep? Dr. Berman asked.   

“Sometimes after Davy is asleep, The Carsons and I do this really peaceful thing. We go outside and sit on a bench behind the house. We don’t say anything. We just sit together, listen to the sounds of the birds and animals, and watch the sun go down. (2-minute pause) I could take my notebook with me and write until I felt anxious, and then put my notebook away and just be with the Carsons, listening to the world.”  

“Try that this week. Write the memories that come to your mind first; don’t try to censor them or block them. Try to tell all the details you can remember, who was part of it, where it was, how it started, what happened- from start to finish,” Dr. Berman said.  

Have you ever wondered if writing about your struggles might help make them not as difficult? In narrative therapy, retelling- or narrating- the stories of your life is the start to moving from a “problem-focused” way of viewing your history to a “solution-focused” way that emphasizes your strengths. To read about narrative therapy you can consider reading the article below. It discusses a type of narrative therapy used for people like Claire who have a history of complex trauma.  

Jongedijk R. A. (2014). Narrative exposure therapy: an evidence-based treatment for multiple and complex trauma. European journal of psychotraumatology, 5, 26522. doi:10.3402/ejpt.v5.26522 

 

By  P. Berman, A. Hosack & K. Hecht, 

I hoped those two sessions would stop Davy’s nightmares. I guess it takes more. 

Davy had a nightmare about Larry again. It seemed so unfair to Claire that after such a great session with Dr. Berman, he should have a nightmare. Still, she knew what to do when it happened in the middle of the night. First, she hugged him for a few minutes. She then looked down into his eyes and asked him if the black scary thing was gone. He shook his head with tears going down his face.

Claire then read him one of his favorite stories, “Good night moon.” She read it very slowly twice through, letting him say the last line of each page. By that point, he wasn’t clutching her any more. He was sitting next to her. At the end, he looked up and said, “Mommy, I feel better but still scared.”

“Okay Davy, we haven’t practiced yet but let’s get out the fish!” Claire said this in a very dramatic, funny voice, which at least briefly made Davy smile. She took his hand and led him to her room and over to the dresser where the fish bowl was resting. She looked at him and said, “the first step is to remind yourself it is okay to be scared but you help yourself become calm instead.  Okay, lets close our eyes for a second and say out loud that big black things are scary, but we can help ourselves to calm instead.”

Davy said out loud, “I’m scared but I can become calm.” Claire whispers to Davy, “Are we calm yet?”

Davy opens his eyes and looks seriously at his mom and shakes his head no. She nods back and whispers, “close your eyes again.” Once Davy’s eyes are closed Claire says, “in the second step, we take four deep breathes so our chests feel ready to explode”.  Claire makes really big noises getting her breaths and letting them out, then she says, “are you taking deep breathes Davy?”  “I’m not sure mommy.” (1-minute pause) “Okay Davy, this is a hard step. Let’s open our eyes and you can watch me taking big monster breaths.” Claire puts Davy’s right hand on her chest and says, “feel these small breaths,” she takes a few short breaths. (1-minute pause) “Could you feel those?” (Davy nods) “Here is a bigger kind of breath.” Claire takes a big breath and then lets it out. “Could you feel the difference?” (Davy nods) “Okay, now here come the monster breaths I want you to take. I will noise drawing as much air into my body as I can. Then, I will slowly let the breaths out making the noise last as long as possible. Did you feel how monstrously big those last breaths were?” (Davy nods)

“It’s your turn now Davy. I am going to put my hand on your chest. First, take a small breath.” “Could you feel it mommy?” “Yes, I could Davy. Now, try to push my hand up taking a big breath.” Davy started out taking a breath but then started coughing. “That’s okay, try again,” Claire said soothingly. Davy took another big breath. “That was great Davy, you were really pushing.” (1-minute pause) “Davy, do you think you can do the big monster breaths?” Davy stares back at her for a moment and then nods. “Okay, go Davy go.” Davy can’t make much noise pulling air into his lungs, but he makes such funny noises letting the air out that Claire starts laughing.

“Davy, your monster breaths made me feel so happy and relaxed. How do you feel?” Davy cocks his head to one side and says, “I think I am relaxed now mommy. Could you read Good Night Moon one more time before I go to sleep?” “Of course, my Davy.”

When someone is really scared like Davy, it isn’t surprising they need a lot of help letting go of the fear. There are many forms of relaxation; different people find different forms of relaxation helpful. Some use deep breathing like Claire is teaching Davy. Some use tensing and relaxing muscles, desensitization, hypnosis, yoga and so forth.

If you think a fear of something is interfering in you leading the life you want, consider trying one or more of these strategies to help you.  WebMD (https://www.webmd.com/balance/guide/blissing-out-10-relaxation-techniques-reduce-stress-spot#1) discusses 10 different relaxation strategies: remember, if you are really terrified it may take more than one technique.

Knowing that other children have witnessed violence too could also help children like Davy. A book that helps children understand this is called, “A Terrible Thing Happened: A Story for Children Who Have Witnessed Violence or Trauma

By Margaret M. Holmes, Illustrated by Cary Pillo  Age Range: 4-8

By K. Hecht, P. Berman & A. Hosack 

I still don’t want to talk about my mean dad. No one can make me talk about him. 

Davy is sitting at the small table with crayons again. His mom and Dr. Berman are sitting on each side of him. In the middle of the table is the totally black scary thing Davy and his mommy drew yesterday. Davy cried a lot yesterday and was able to avoid talking about his daddy. But now they are back. His mommy has that firm look on her face- that’s the face that means he better be a good listener or no dessert after dinner. 

Dr. Berman smiled at Davy and then said, “I know that talking about your daddy is scary. (Davy starts shaking his head back and forth). I know that it is up to you when we start talking about your daddy. (Davy smiles at his mother who just looks firmly back at him). 

Oh know, she is already getting ready to say no dessert because I shook my head back and forth. 

Davy saw that Dr. Berman was pulling out his picture of his family. She looked at him and said, “If you were feeling scared, what might your mom do to help you.” Davy looked up at his mom and said, “she will hug me and if that isn’t enough, she will read me a story.” “That’s smart. Sometimes a hug from mommy is all it takes. (I-minute pause) sometimes things are so scary, you need more.” (Davy is nodding) 

“Is there anything else you can think of Claire, that you could do with Davy if even the story isn’t enough to help him feel safe?” (1-minute pause) Claire thought about it for a while and said, “I learned to do mindfulness using my pet fish. Do you think Davy is old enough to do that too?” “I don’t know Claire,” Dr. Berman said, “sometimes you don’t know until you try. Next time Davy wakes up in a grumpy mood, but not scared, try telling him what you do as you watch the fish and see if he feels better after he tries it.” “Davy, do you think you are big enough to try to use your mommy’s pet fish to feel better? (Davy nods), even though it is something your mommy learned as a grownup?” (Davy nods and smiles) 

“I go to school and learn lots of things””, Davy said, “I think I could learn it. I love doing things with my mommy.” Davy smiled at his mom again, this time she smiled back. Davy immediately felt less on edge. He still didn’t want to talk about his daddy, but he didn’t want his mommy mad at him either. 

“Let’s say that you are feeling scared and you are with Mrs. Carson. What could she do to help you not feel scared?” Davy didn’t hesitate an instant, “she could make me an ice cream sundae!” Claire began to laugh. “Yes, we all love ice cream Davy but that is our special before sleep snack. If we all had ice cream every time we got scared, we would be so fat we couldn’t fit in our favorite backyard swing.” 

Davy loved to swing, he wouldn’t want to get too fat to fit in it. “Well, I love the way she makes food smell. Could she teach me about cooking and spices?” Claire’s face lit up, “Davy, that is such a great idea. Not only would you get less scared, but you would learn how to cook all our favorite foods!”  

“I agree, it would be great if Davy felt safe and learned to do something important for the family. Now, sometimes scary is so big- it fills the whole page. You might need more things to try.  Is there anything else you could do with Mrs. Carson if cooking just wasn’t enough?” Dr. Berman asked. (2- minute pause) Davy kept staring at his picture. Finally, he looked up and said, “She draws really nice pictures. Could she help me to learn how to draw a happy picture to replace the scary black one?”  

I am so proud of my Davy. He can really think and come up with great ideas. I like this time together. 

Claire reached over and squeezed Davy’s hand. “I am so proud of you. Here you are coming up with great ideas of what to do if you are scared.” Davy smiled back. He loved it when his mom was proud of him. So much nicer to see her smile than her stern look. 

“Davy, we have one family member left, what can you do if you are scared and with Mr. Carson?” Dr. Berman asked. “Well,” Davy said, “we could take a walk together and he could just hold my hand. His hand is so big. I always feel safe when he is holding mine. (I-minute pause)  

 

I guess you want a second thing too huh?” he said smiling at Dr. Berman. “Yes, that would be great Davy. (I-minute pause) “The black scary dad is so big. I think that I would want to sit on Mr. Carson’s shoulders and walk around the house. When we do this, I can touch the ceiling if I stretch up my hand. I would be even taller than my mean dad if I was on Mr. Carson’s shoulders.” 

“Claire, could you make a chart with all of Davy’s great ideas and put it up where everyone can see it? (Claire nods), Davy, this week if you get scared, about anything at home, can you go up to whatever grown up is close by and tell them you are scared? (Davy nods), Then, it is time to go home, I think you both have earned your ice cream sundaes for tonight.” 

Claire and Davy walk out of the room holding hands and laughing.   

Davy’s fears of his father Larry are realistic; he was physically hurt by his dad and witnessed his father hurting his mother. Despite being safe for months; the fear is great enough to still be giving him nightmares every week. The strategies being used in his family work with Dr. Berman are designed for a young child who has many protective figures in his life. 

However, dealing with fear can be tough; it is possible he will need a more intensive form of treatment. There are many evidence-based treatments that can help children and adults reduce their fears. One common model that is highly effective is called exposure therapy.  

The American Psychological Association provides free information about the many different forms of exposure therapy at the link below. 

https://www.apa.org/ptsd-guideline/patients-and-families/exposure-therapy 

A YouTube video that provides a clear explanation for exposure therapy for posttraumatic stress disorder can be found at the link below. 

https://video.search.yahoo.com/yhs/search?fr=yhs-pty-pty_forms&hsimp=yhs-pty_forms&hspart=pty&p=exposure+therapy#id=4&vid=6ee2aae2644fcbc75d5bb39f07aba2dd&action=click 

 

By  A. Hosack, K. Hecht & P. Berman

I get to meet my mommy’s special friend. Will we have fun like when I play with my friend Marcus? 

Mr. Carson had dropped Davy and Claire off at Dr. Berman’s office for a family appointment. Davy was so excited he was running around the room. He didn’t know what to expect but his mommy had said they were going to talk about making sure he was safe so his nightmares would stop. Davy wasn’t sure how talking to his mommy’s friend would help but he hated having nightmares. 

His mommy stood up and called to him- holding out her hand. Davy knew this was the signal to stop running around and go walk some place with her. He saw this new lady standing by a door. This must be his mommy’s special friend. They walked into a room and he saw a low table with crayons on it. 

“Do I get to make pictures?” he asked. “Yes,” the lady said, we are all going to sit around the table and talk while we make pictures.” She then sat on the floor by the table and Davy looked questioningly at his mommy. Claire sat down on the floor and looked at him. He ran over and plopped down on the floor, pulling his paper as close as he could to his mommy’s. 

“Hello Davy, my name is Dr. Berman. I am the type of doctor that talks to families about anything that is bothering them. Your mommy told me that sometimes you get scared and have nightmares?” Davy just moved again so close to his mom that he was sitting partly in her lap. He hid his face in her chest. 

“We aren’t going to start by talking about scary things. (1-minute pause) We are going to start by talking about families. We are all going to draw pictures of our families having fun and then explain what helps makes our families have fun. (1-minute pause) We are going to share one box of crayons. Claire, would you hold the box and help us all take turns using the colors?” 

This is different than I expected. But, I can see how talking about families while drawing will help my Davy pay attention. I never thought about using play to help talk about things. 

Claire was nervous about this appointment. What would Davy say about Larry? What should she say that he wasn’t too young to understand? When she saw the crayons, she smiled. Her Davy loved to draw. She had never imagined they would be drawing today. She had just expected they would all sit in chairs and talk, like she did in her appointments. Dr. Berman handed her the box of crayons.  

“Mommy, can I use the brown crayon first,” Davy asked, “I am going to make myself first.” Davy got busy drawing himself and Claire asked, “Should I draw my parents or the family I have now?” “Since we are talking later about scary things, (Davy looks up quickly and stares at Dr. Berman who smiles back and gestures at his picture) draw everyone you feel is in your family now.” Claire loved to draw but realized that the point of the pictures was not to make great art. She drew stick figures but put big smiles on everyone’s face.  

Davy was very careful drawing himself all brown and then drawing his mommy, just a little bigger. He made his picture of Mr. Carson the biggest of all. “Why is Mr. Carson so big,” Dr. Berman asked. “It’s because he is big. He always knows the answers to everything, and he is so strong he can even carry me around upside down; being upside down is so fun. “Those are good reasons to make him big.” 

“Claire, are you done with your picture?” Claire had just drawn a house in her picture with a tree next to it. “Mommy I love that you put in the house behind Mrs. Carson. I love our house! That’s our tree, the one you like to sit under and read me stories.”  

“These pictures are the start of what we are talking about.  We will put them in this safe place on the other side of the table. We will need them later. Now, it is time to draw a picture of something that represents “scary.” You can make anything that you want. Just make it see scary.” Dr. Berman gave Davy a new piece of paper. He picked out the black crayon and began to make a big swirl across the entire paper. “Your scary is big and black,” Dr. Berman said. “Yes, there is no light, it’s going to be all black.”  

Davy began to press as hard on the paper as he could, trying to make every swirl as dark as possible. “I hate you scary, I hate having you around,” he said. “I can see why scary might be black,” Dr. Berman said, “Would your scary look black Claire.” Claire was just staring down at her new sheet of white paper. “No, my scary is emptiness, being all alone and looking everywhere but not finding my Davy.” “Don’t worry mommy,” Davy said, looking up from his picture, “you will always be able to find me. When I hide, I go under my bed.”  

Claire smiled and stroked his hair. “Thank you for helping me not be scared of losing you Davy.” “I will always help you mommy.” His attention on his mom, he accidentally pushed so hard he broke the crayon. Would mommy’s friend be mad? 

Dr. Berman said, “Davy, you helped you mommy with her scary. Would you like your mom to help you finish your black scary now that we have two black crayons?” Davy smiled at her; she wasn’t scary at all. “Yes, mommy take this black crayon. My fingers are getting tired, but I want the entire page darkest black.” Claire and Davy busily made the picture dark black together. “When you are scared, being with someone, like your mommy, can help.” Davy looked up at her and said, “My mommy told me to always tell her if I had a nightmare.” “That’s a great idea Davy, scary things get smaller when you have someone you love helping you.” 

Davy looked at his mommy, busily making black swirls on his paper, just like the ones he had been making. “You are really helping me mom.” Claire looked up and smiled at him, “always tell me Davy when you are scared; I will always help you.”  

Davy is learning that not everyone experiences the same things as scary. He fears his father Larry. Claire fears being alone and not able to find Davy. He is also learning that there are things he can do to help his mother when she is scared, and that she wants to help him when he is scared. Davy is young so to truly learn these lessons, he will need a lot more practice. 

Have you ever tried to use play to teach your child something? Davy is at an age where he may want something immediately. The moment he realizes he is hungry- he wants the food to magically be ready. However, you could use play to teach him how to be patient. One fun play activity for learning to control impulses and be patient is baking.    

You get everything ready in advance to minimize “waiting time.” You need a bag of cookies, a scissors, and to have the oven set at about 300 degrees. Have plates and napkins in a pile. What could be a first step that involved Davy? He could go get the scissors from the counter, walk with it, pointy side down, and then use it to open the bag of cookies you are holding. He could then watch you take three cookies out and put them in a row; you could say things like, “I pick them up carefully, so they won’t break, I like to eat BIG cookies not broken pieces.” He could then put the rest of the cookies out. He could help hold the cookie sheet as you put it in the oven to warm up for two minutes. 

While it is in the oven, you can say things like, “we must stand back, so we won’t get burned by the oven. Do you see that pile of plates and napkins? Please put them on the table for when our cookies are hot and ready to eat.” If Davy is struggling to stay away from the stove, you can say things like, “I can’t wait for those cookies to be warm, they taste so good when they are warm. “it’s hard to wait, but can you begin to smell the cookies?”  

Davy is old enough that two minutes won’t be too hard for him to wait. But, if he was only three years old, you might need him to do jumping jacks or some other physical activity to keep busy until the two minutes are done. You could say things like, “sometimes it is easier to wait if you give yourself something to do.”  

While you are eating the warm cookies, you can ask Davy, “is waiting worth it when you get to eat warm cookies?” Once you have done this activity a few times, move on to slice and bake cookies which require more “wait time,” approximately 20-30 minutes. Finally, you can move on to baking cookies from scratch which may take up to an hour from beginning to end.  

Each strategy works better if you “fill” the wait time with statements that you hope your child will internalize and say to him/herself when needing to wait. As each step gets harder, talk to your child about how the cookie tastes. Ask questions like, “is it worth the longer wait when you make cookies from scratch because then you can make any kind you want, add chocolate or peanut butter chips and so forth. Is it fun to know that when you are a grown up you know lots of ways to make cookies, so you are can make them whenever you want?” 

You can use play for older kids. For example, if you had a ten- year -old, you could take him/her to a place that required driving ten minutes, then twenty minutes, then thirty minutes. Again, you would talk about the place you were going, the things that you could do, and what made it worthwhile waiting to get there. 

Do you have a child who needs to be more patient? Do you need to learn to be more patient? Consider designing a “play” activity sequence to help you or your child learn to be more patient while having fun together and building the positive strength of your relationship. 

 

By P. Berman, A. Hosack & K. Hecht 

I will do this for Davy and Claire. I will stay away from them and sell drugs for the gang.  

He had only had about two minutes, but he had been learning enough from Manuel to know what a good husband and father would do; he would stay away from Claire and Davy. Larry would keep pretending he was done with Claire. He would keep his burning desire to see her and Davy a deep secret so the gang would have no interest in them. Selling drugs would give him the money to live a fast life- something just a few years ago he might have found appealing. Now, these thoughts left him feeling cold and empty. 

It was strange, but the lies he had been told to tell the parole board by the lawyer, weren’t exactly lies. Larry had been reading about relationships and being a father. He had been going to church, to make Manuel happy. While he didn’t know how to be the responsive partner and father the books told him to be, he did understand that to bring Claire and Davy to Philadelphia, was to destroy any chance they had for a life free of crime. Going to church and reading had helped him learn to care for their welfare, even if helping them gave him pain. 

Larry walked in to the parole hearing feeling calmer than he had all week. He had come to a decision and he respected himself for what he had decided. He was not rubbish, unlike his father, he was putting his girl and his son ahead of himself. Larry sat down where he was told, across from the parole board.  The hearing examiner of the United States Parole Commission introduced himself and the other board members to Larry and explained the process.  

The board members all looked serious and angry. The hearing started with the hearing examiner asking Larry to explain how he had ended up in prison. Larry let out a deep sigh and then spoke slowly, choosing each word he said carefully, and looking each member of the board in the eyes. “I had been dating this girl since high school, her name is Claire. I loved her and hadn’t seen her for a long time because her parents were abusive, and she had been sent to foster care. My parents treated me like a punching bag too, but I stuck it out at home until I graduated high school. Claire and I had always dreamed of graduating and then getting decent jobs and having a life together. 

I was going to find her and show her I had begun to make our dream come true.  It took me a long time to find Claire because her foster family lived at the other end of the county from where we grew up. She was looking great and was so happy to see me; I thought we were on our way together. I took her to a restaurant, I got frustrated with her because she kept talking about her kid Davy. I didn’t understand why she would want to talk about this kid, and not focus on us after all our months apart. Finally, I punched her to shut her up; I was being my dad- violent and untrustworthy.” 

“Why should this board think you have changed,” he was asked. “Being in prison was boring. I began going to the library, just to distract myself but then I met the librarian assistant, Manuel. He helped me find some interesting books to read about families. I began to see that the way Claire and I grew up, was deviant. I was so surprised to realize that most families weren’t violent at all. I began to talk to Manuel about the stuff I was reading; he was a lot older than me and had children himself. He convinced me to start going to church, he said the Priest could help me learn about being a good man who wasn’t violent. I started going, just to have something to do. I was surprised, the priest was really something – just like Manuel said. He treated me like I deserved respect despite everything I had done. This is what got my attention, for real. I began to listen to him and hear his talk about God wanting each of us to be our best selves. I asked him after service what he meant, and he stayed late at the prison talking to me. I realized that everything I thought I was supposed to do as a man was all messed up. The Priest, has become like a father to me- the right kind of father, who helps you learn how to live like a good person.” 

“You might want to change, but that doesn’t mean it is safe for other people for you to get out early,” one man said. He hadn’t looked at Larry even once, just kept writing something on a pad of paper. 

“I don’t want to be like my dad. A violent thug who scares his own children to death. I am not going to be him. Whether I earn early parole or not, I am going to keep going to church and learn more about who I can be in life. If you will let me out, I believe I have a chance to make something of myself. My attorney works at a law firm that helps people like me. I have been offered a job. It isn’t anything important. I will be driving around dropping legal documents off at different court houses. This job will give me the chance to show you, and myself that I can work really hard, be responsible, learn on-the-job. I am going to learn how to earn an honest living and I am going to never hit a woman, or anyone else again.” Larry stopped talking. He again made sure he looked everyone in the face.   

Larry was excused from the hearing and sent back to his cell. He lay down on his bunk and closed his eyes. The hearing had been such a weird experience. In some ways, he had been totally lying but in others, he had been telling the whole truth. 

I really don’t want to be like my dad. I was acting like him at the restaurant. No wonder Claire testified against me.  

What will the parole board decide about Larry? Is the decision “fixed” by the gang? 

Parole boards usually make decisions based on the judgment of the Hearing Examiner. To see details about how hearings work and who can attend go to:  

https://www.justice.gov/uspc/parole-hearings 

Research suggests that algorithms that are automatically scored do better at predicted who is and who isn’t safe to let on our parole than the judgment of individuals and groups. These algorithms work by statistically combining data on past criminal history, gender, age race/ethnicity, reason for admittance to prison, length of stay in prison, educational level, past employment, substance abuse, associated with antisocial peers and behavior in prison. It costs more in the short-run to use algorithms but is cost effective in the long-run as it reduces the expense of keeping people in prison, prosecuting those who re-offend, and the costs sending them back to prison.  

Many people hold the myth that “being tough on crime” results in less crime.  

Consider doing a social advocacy step by telling a social group you belong to about the real facts about keeping society safer. 

By K. Hecht, P. Berman & A. Hosack 

The gang has invested too much money in me. They are never going to let me go. 

 Mr. Spargus had been wearing an even finer suit than he had brought for Larry. The attorney had also been wearing a gold watch, a big gold ring, and cufflinks; everything about him spoke money. He had fixed Larry’s past record and it sounded like he had fixed the parole hearing somehow.  Only lots of money could be making this man work to get someone like Larry out of jail.  

Larry has been alone for a while, waiting for his time with the parole board to be called; and reviewing his further. Until now, Larry was just a small cog in the life of the gang- he had hoped they wouldn’t care much if he disappeared from Philadelphia. Surely, they wouldn’t have much trouble finding a replacement for him.  Larry had been shocked the gang had arranged this early parole for him. It made sense they were helping Martin; he had been part of the gang for years. The gang leader in prison was the smartest man Larry had ever me; he must have big plans for Larry to have gone to this much trouble for a new entry like him.

I am going to have to go to Philadelphia and do whatever the gang wants; they own me. 

Alone in the room, Larry could stop acting for a moment. His head just dropped to his chest. He closed his eyes and tried to imagine the last smile he had seen on Claire’s face; he could never see her again; it could be her death sentence if he did.  

He felt complete despair- as he had so many times in his youth when he knew there was no way he could escape his father. Tied with a weight too heavy to lift, Larry would just have to endure having his body made torn and bloody again and again by his dad. The gang wouldn’t be beating him, if he followed orders. Larry knew that he might be given a fancy suit and a car to drive but when he delivered those drugs, he could also be walking into a bullet in the head; would anyone even take the time to bury him? 

Larry got up and walked over to his prison clothes and pulled his picture of Davy out of the pant pocket; he had carried it in that pocket every day since Claire’s last letter had arrived. Davy was doing well in school and making friends; Martin’s kids were already getting into big trouble at school. Larry couldn’t expose Davy to gang life. The only thing he could do to be a good father was stay far away and never see Davy again. 

My dad and that Mr. Carson might both think I am rubbish- but I am not. I am giving up the only woman who could love me, and a chance to be with my son, to protect them both. 

Someone came in for him. It was time. He quickly put the suit jacket back on; doing bad at the parole hearing was not an option, the gang would never tolerate him wasting their cash.  

Larry would never have joined a gang if he hadn’t been sent to a prison. Larry had already been sexually assaulted in jail, even before being convicted. Larry had good reason to believe joining a prison gang was necessary to his survival. 

Is prison supposed to increase Larry’s risks for violence? 

Prisons were initially designed to be punitive so that fear of going back would prevent recidivism. However, this has not proven effective. Rehabilitation services offered in prison have been found to decrease likelihood of reoffending when they follow evidence-based practices. However, one of the most effective treatments for changing the thoughts and beliefs that are behind criminal behavior, Cognitive-Behavioral Treatment, has only been made available to 2% of prisoners.   

Consider writing your senators and representatives to encourage them to read this article by Steven Aos and Elizabeth Drake, “Prison, Police, and Programs: Evidence-Based Options That Reduce Crime and Save Money,” Washington State Institute for Public Policy, 2013,  

Find your senators and congressmen at https://www.govtrack.us/congress/bills/115/hr2640“ 

Your letter could state something like: 

Dear Senator X: 

Research summarized by Steven Amos and Elizabeth Drake in their article, “Prison, Police, and Programs: Evidence-Based Options that Reduce Crime and Save Money,” demonstrates that there are evidence-based programs that help change criminal thinking, reduce substance abuse, and end association with antisocial peers; thus, reducing recidivism rates for felons. While these programs do require space within prisons and adequate staffing, they have been found to reduce costs to society in the long run. Studies have been done that compare the cost of these types of rehabilitation services, to the costs to society by crimes committed after felons are released from prison and reoffend including the costs to victims, then costs of arraignment and the costs of repeated prison time. Their research concludes that for every 5,000 prisoners it would cost about $25 million to provide one effective rehabilitation service. However, this would reduce recidivism rate by 12% which represents a reduced cost of $100 million to society. While increasing the dose to $7,500, prisoners would receive three treatment services and recidivism would be reduced by 40$. To read more about this go to:  http://www.wsipp.wa.gov/ReportFile/1396/Wsipp_Prison-Police-and-Programs- 

Please support prison reform bills that would reduce the costs of our prison system as well as provide services that would help felons become reestablished as good citizens. 

 

Sincerely yours, 

 

 

By   A. Hosack, K. Hecht & P. Berman  

What? It is happening too fast. I am not ready. Has Claire even had time to get my letter? 

Martin rushes up to Larry during lunch and tells him their attorney has arrived. They are now rushing down the hall to put on some suits the lawyer brought with him. They are going to get a few minutes of advice from the lawyer and then will each have fifteen minutes with the parole board to make a case for their early release. 

Larry’s head feels like it’s on fire. As much as he wants to get out of prison, he has only just begun to try and figure out how to get away from the gang once he gets out. Suddenly, they have stopped rushing down the hall and are now in a room where they will meet with the lawyer. There are two expensive suits lying across a table; he has never worn clothes like this before. Martin tells him to hurry up, they can’t keep this guy waiting. 

“Larry, don’t mess with this guy when he comes in. Don’t talk unless he asks you a question. If he gives you advice- you follow it word for word.” “How is this all happening so fast? How did he know what clothes size I wore?” Larry said, staring down at himself in the first suit he has ever worn. “Don’t get crazy on me Larry. The gang has this whole thing under control. There will be clothes, a place to live, everything ready for us when we get out. Just do what you are told.” Martin was called in first to talk to the attorney and left by another door to talk with the parole board.  

Now, it was Larry’s turn to talk to the attorney. This was not going to be like his last meeting with an attorney. This wasn’t a public defender who had no idea what was going on until the day before court. This was some attorney the gang had an arrangement with; this was someone who could make the parole board hear his case within one week of coming on the job. Larry walked into the room where the lawyer was, sat down, and put out his hand saying, “Thanks for doing so much work for me. I’m Larry.” 

The attorney looked speculatively at him for a minute and then took his hand and shook it. He introduced himself as Carl Spargus. “I am a criminal lawyer from Philadelphia and have had a lot of experience with cases like yours Larry. Your parole hearing should go smoothly because you have no prior adult record and I have had already your juvenile record expunged.” “Sir, what does expunge mean?” Larry asked. “We don’t have time for that, we need to get to what you will say to the parole board.” 

“The parole board will be ready for you in ten minutes. It is important you show them how you have reformed your way of thinking during this time in prison and have shown a commitment to taking the path of a law -abiding citizen who regrets his past violent behavior. Larry, you have been selected, by my law firm to become part of our pro bono program to help felons reintegrate into the community after being released from prison. You pattern of spending your free time reading in the library and going to church are all part of what made us select you for employment after your release from prison. You will be a runner; this means you will take legal documents from the law firm and deliver them either to other law offices or to be filed at courthouses in Philadelphia and the surrounding area.”  

Could this be real? This would be so great. A real job…No, I am so stupid; I will be delivering drugs hidden in legal documents. 

Larry just kept nodding at everything the attorney said but, just for a moment, imagined he had a real job, working for a law firm. Claire and Davy could be proud of a guy who did that. But no way, this attorney was working with the gang. Whether Larry would be delivering real documents or not, he didn’t know, but he was sure that he would also be delivering drugs.  

“The parole board is going to ask you about that assault you were convicted for. You are going to say you deeply regret the whole thing. I know you have been attending Catholic services at the prison. You are going to say the priest has helped you see what kind of life you were meant to live. You are going to be continuing to attend church and keep in contact with the priest who has become like a father to you. Got that?” 

“Yes, sir.  Is there anything else I should say?” Larry said trying to look the guy in the eye. “No, keep as quiet as possible. There won’t be any other questions,” the attorney stood up and began to walk out of the room. “Thank you for your help,” Larry said as the attorney disappeared around the corner. The attorney didn’t reply.  

Is it safe for the community to release Martin and Larry early from prison?  

A national study in 2005 found that within three years, 67.8% of the 404,638 state prisoners released from 30 states were arrested again.  

Is this surprising considering what Larry and Martin are experiencing in prison? Prisons were flooded with inmates by policies aimed to get “tough” on crime, however, while making prisons into holding tanks full of offenders, this procedure was not found to reduce crime rates according to Grant Duwe (November, 2017), Rethinking Prisons: A Strategy for Evidence-based Reform. Report of the American Enterprise Institute. This article can be found at: http://www.aei.org/publication/rethinking-prison-a-strategy-for-evidence-based-reform/ 

Do you think sending people to prison is giving us a safer society?